I didn’t always want to be behind the camera. Honestly, I wanted to be in front of it. And since my chest resembled more of a boy’s than a Victoria Secret Angel, I dreamed that even modeling for JC Penney would pretty be earth shattering. Me…in print!
Summer 2008, and my mom’s friend let me borrow her Canon 20D because “I liked the way the clicker (who knew what a shutter was then?) sounds like a real camera and not my little Powershot.” Pretty soon, my girlfriend and I were in my parents’ bathroom, squishing close together so we could both fit our faces in the oval mirror to apply dramatic make-up. America’s Next Top Model: College (but-really-just-playing-dress-up) Edition.
We’d each take turns posing while the other one took the photo. I remember getting frustrated because my photos weren’t turning out how I envisioned them. I’d sigh and start commanding: Don’t put me right in the center of the photo! or Only from chest up! before quickly scurrying back into my (*ahem* much practiced) model pose—pout and all.
But I knew. I knew right then that no matter how much I wanted to be in front of the camera, I belonged behind the camera.
While I’ve switched from automatic mode (and flash—oh no) and no longer revel being in front of the camera (yikes!), I still feel a sense of belonging as I gently press my left-eye to my viewfinder and capture everyday fleeting moments, significant occasions, and simply…beauty.
Old dreams have done goneand packed their bags to let new dream move in. So while I don’t necessarily want to be featured in a JC Penney catalog as a model; YES, I’d die-and-go-to-heaven LOVE to be featured in The Knot or Martha Stewart Wedding as the photographer. ;P
Happy 100, Blog. Cheers to another 100!
100 posts! Go you!! Although, I would have to argue, you are pretty fabulous in FRONT of the camera as well 😉 Cheers, B!
I don’t know why, but I was just thinking about those old photos the other day! I remember when you put them on MySpace or whatever and I was like, WHOA..amazing! I still think you could be a model, but I also think your photos definitely have a huge chance of being featured in a magazine. Happy 100!!!! 🙂
Kristen, you’ve been such a wonderful mentor and friend, and I’m so thankful you were our wedding photographer!
Steph, thank you for continually believing in my dreams! 🙂