Old & New Dreams: Happy 100.

I didn’t always want to be behind the camera. Honestly, I wanted to be in front of it. And since my chest resembled more of a boy’s than a Victoria Secret Angel, I dreamed that even modeling for JC Penney would pretty be earth shattering. Me…in print!

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Summer 2008, and my mom’s friend let me borrow her Canon 20D because “I liked the way the clicker (who knew what a shutter was then?) sounds like a real camera and not my little Powershot.” Pretty soon, my girlfriend and I were in my parents’ bathroom, squishing close together so we could both fit our faces in the oval mirror to apply dramatic make-up. America’s Next Top Model: College (but-really-just-playing-dress-up) Edition.

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We’d each take turns posing while the other one took the photo. I remember getting frustrated because my photos weren’t turning out how I envisioned them. I’d sigh and start commanding: Don’t put me right in the center of the photo! or Only from chest up! before quickly scurrying back into my (*ahem* much practiced) model pose—pout and all.

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But I knew. I knew right then that no matter how much I wanted to be in front of the camera, I belonged behind the camera.

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While I’ve switched from automatic mode (and flash—oh no) and no longer revel being in front of the camera (yikes!), I still feel a sense of belonging as I gently press my left-eye to my viewfinder and capture everyday fleeting moments, significant occasions, and simply…beauty.

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Old dreams have done goneand packed their bags to let new dream move in. So while I don’t necessarily want to be featured in a JC Penney catalog as a model; YES, I’d die-and-go-to-heaven LOVE to be featured in The Knot or Martha Stewart Wedding as the photographer. ;P

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Happy 100, Blog. Cheers to another 100!

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3 Comments

  1. kristen holly

    100 posts! Go you!! Although, I would have to argue, you are pretty fabulous in FRONT of the camera as well 😉 Cheers, B!

    Reply
  2. Stephanie

    I don’t know why, but I was just thinking about those old photos the other day! I remember when you put them on MySpace or whatever and I was like, WHOA..amazing! I still think you could be a model, but I also think your photos definitely have a huge chance of being featured in a magazine. Happy 100!!!! 🙂

    Reply
  3. bernadette

    Kristen, you’ve been such a wonderful mentor and friend, and I’m so thankful you were our wedding photographer!

    Steph, thank you for continually believing in my dreams! 🙂

    Reply

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